Women & Men/Babes & Bros

It was International Women's Day yesterday and some of my feminist friends were blowing up my gchat about things like women's body issues, patriarchy, and eyebrow design. Most of my responses ranged from 'do you think David Guetta looks like Owen Wilson?' to 'I get brazilians for ME'. My friends angrily signed off with steaming emoticons and 'I THOUGHT YOU WERE A FEMINIST!!!??'.

Well, as it turns out, it's not that I don't consider myself a feminist or that I don't care about women's issues. I am just going through a strange phase that for the record is not routed in lesbianism but has been misconstrued as such, particularly by my grandmother. I prefer men's cologne, I wear men's plaid shirts, I like baseball, and I read men's magazines.

In fact, I was reading a pretty useful article in Esquire called How to Save (and Spend) Money at Any Age when I had a breakthrough. In my age bracket it lists my main expenditures as:

Rent
Cable
Clothes
Attending weddings
Football pool
Esquire subscription
Sandwiches

So true! Feeling ambitious I clicked on over to Cosmopolitan to see if I could find a different but equal article that factored in white wine and scented body lotion. I was sort of surprised to find no such article. I was however able to read all about Bizarre Boob Behaviour and The Top 5 Mortifying Things He Tells His Buddies about me.

Being extremely scientific and bored of live tweeting my afternoon, I decided to perform an exciting experiment.

The Challenge: Details VS Elle

Process:

10 minutes on each site followed by an extremely subjective discussion of learning outcomes.

Observations:

Details
I took the quiz 'Are you a giant tool?'. I learned I was in fact a giant tool for liking Grizzly Bear, owning a Moleskine and taking in my ties. I felt drawn in and excited by all the pictures and interactive articles. I almost had a seizure over the article about asperger's becoming a hot new hilarious insult because I've been saying that for months. I learned that skinny jeans can be a health hazard because they cut off circulation. #Fascinating.

Elle
I read an article about a young female investment banker who had sex with her gross boss and lost her job. I reverse-lol'd through a really boring article about a woman who couldn't find romance and finally settled for a guy she wasn't really attracted to. I felt mildly inadequate by all the pictures of sad looking models. I read about how a frenemy can inspire me to lose weight and dump my fat couch-surfing bf. #NeedProzac

Conclusions:

According to the Globe and Mail Canadian Women are closing in on the gender gap slower than the ladies of Mongolia. Maybe that is because Mongolian babes don't spend millions of dollars a year reading articles such as PDA Moves He's Actually OK With (the ass grab, shocker) and Does He Masturbate Too Much. Do Mongolian magazines have quizzes such as What Your Goat Herd Says About Your Dating Style or articles about How To Avoid Getting Yurt In A Breakup? Something tells me no.