4 Commonly Made Texting Mistakes

1. Texting The Wrong Person

I have lost friends, boyfriends, and jobs making this mistake. One time I texted my roommate while we were sitting in the living room together 'omg I can't stand my roommate'. She moved out the next week...actually she left the country. My personal favourite however was when I texted a guy I was dating 'omg the love of my life has been rubbing up against me all Superbowl, I think tonight is THE night'. Woops.


2. When Old People Text

I don't know why this is but old people sound creepy when they text no matter what they say. Actually maybe I do know why. It's because the words 'R U coming 2 R house 2nite ;)' said by a middle aged man makes him sound like a child molesting pervert. Old people don't understand that using texting shortcuts should be saved for tweens and ironic hipsters. Next time you want to let me know it was 'Good 2 C U 2', just spell it out.

3. Mistakenly Texting A Landline

One night my brother borrowed my mom's car and went out with his much younger girlfriend. After what was clearly a night of extreme partying, she accidentally sent this exact text to my mom's landline: 'You better get your car out of the ditch before my dad sees! I found your underwear by the hot tub. Hahaha'. If you've ever heard the terrifying robot who recites texts to landlines you understand why this is so bad. My mom nearly collapsed as the robot cackled out the 'hahaha'.

4. Next Morning Apologies For Drunken Texting

The only thing worse than an unanswered drunken 2am 'do you want to meet up!' text is the 'was going through my phone this morning and saw i texted you. boy was i drunk lol' morning after apology text. We all know you staggered to Fritz and ate an XL poutine hoping for a text back. We all know you woke up embarrassed and alone. This is why I always always always delete my BBM's after a night of drinking. Hangovers are hard enough without having to read that you texted someone 'i'm spring break drunk in the VIP at Tonic, return of the mac just came on, come grind with me!'