I Heart 2010

No offense to 2009 but I'm pretty happy that it's over. In 2 weeks we’ll all get dressed up, makeout with strangers, and write lame cliched resolutions in our diaries. Then it will be 2010, year of the Olympics, year of a new century, year that Taylor Lautner turns 18 and I can legally hook up with him.


With all the hype surrounding it, naturally I've been thinking a lot about how 2010 is going to affect the things that are most important to me.

Reality TV

2009 was all about shows like The Hills and The City. People thought they were too superficial, not realistic, and grew tired of watching attractive rich kids date each other.

Enter Jersey Shore. 2010 knows that people really want to watch a group of Ed Hardy wearing freaks who spent the last 20 years of their lives confined to a tanning bed try and hook up with/kill each other.

Money

2009 brought The Recession and everybody was broke or pretended to be. Goodbye open bar company X-mas parties, hello BYO pizza lunch in the boardroom. Hipsters stopped splurging on haircuts and razors, I quit smoking and half my friends moved back in with their parents.

In 2010 The Recession is over and all we have to worry about is paying higher taxes because Translink forgot to budget for the Canada Line and some moron thinks Willy Pickton needs a re-trial. But lucky for me, I won’t be crying about paying triple tax on parking because I’ll be so busy doing things like buying clothes again, eating lobster and ordering novelty bobbleheads online that I won’t even notice the HST is ruining my life and the life of Bill Vander Zalm.

Work

In 2009 we were all unemployed or afraid of getting laid off. Companies stopped hiring and speakers who came to class said things like ‘do Journalism as a hobby’.

In 2010 we all have jobs with the Olympics, we just won’t be able to get to them because of all the road closures.

Music

In 2009 I listened to songs that made me want to jump off a building. Anytime I heard Bon Iver, usually in hipster Gastown clothing stores, I would cry and then feel obliged to buy an antler key-chain or more plaid. Just when I was coming out of the Bon Iver depression era, Dan Mangan came into my life and showed me what a real meltdown was.

In 2010 I’m going to be more open about my love for Party in the USA and eagerly await the new album from MGMT titled 'Do More Cocaine'. Speaking of which, since Courtney Love can't even raise poor little Frances Bean, makes sense for her to drop another album as well.

Looks like 2010 has lots of great things in store for us!