Green Eggs and Tam

Guide to Living with your Parents in your Late 20's

Something weird happened to me just before New Years and I decided to take a long and hard look at my finances. Turns out, I realized that it may be worth it to sacrifice having an adult life/romantic relationship/sanity in order to save up some cash. This has never happened to me. I moved out when I was 18 and have since terrorized the landlords of Vancouver and never learned to cook anything other than elaborate stews and lasagna (one version of each).

As of last Sunday I have moved in with my father...heretofore referred to as my new roommate.

First of all there are many perks to living at home, as half of my friend base can attest to.


1) Free Everything. Seriously, food, cable, internet, laundry, soap, WINE, q-tips. Everything you could ever need is free and at your disposal and you can piggyback basically every meal whether they are cooking at home or going out for dinner.

2) Things are nicer. Marble countertops, a 100 inch, plush towels, weird art that I don't really like.

3) My roommate likes my dog. He leaves me thoughtful notes detailing Fin's every bowel movement throughout the day: 'pee and only small poo at noon' (not even joking)

4) Cleaning crew. My roomie is OCD about cleaning. Today before I left at 7am for BCIT, I made my bed to be agreeable. When I came home it was REMADE... to look cleaner.

And now for...



1) No Privacy. When you're a teen it's all about privacy. My best friend has many a journal entry with 'FUCK DAD' written in scribbly letters that we still laugh about to this day. But now that I'm 26 and theoretically smarter, I've decided that full disclosure is the only way to go. Otherwise they will ask questions until I throw one of their ugly Inuit carvings out the window. I tell them every plan I have for the day, this way they are relaxed, and I don't have to answer 20 questions every time I walk in the door.

2) Kiss goodbye kissing. I wonder if Taylor Swift knew at fifteen that in 10 years most guys she likes will still live with their parents. Now that I've joined that demographic, I'm faced with a different challenge. Older dudes don't want to date grown women who still live at home. It's a double edged light saber!!

3) Everything. It's not the greatest. But the benefits outweigh the costs just slightly. Plus, parents really like it and middle aged people are weird so I'm happy to help them out. Also of course, it's only temporary...just like Stephen Harper proroguing government.